Living On Purpose

Living on Purpose 

In our world, most people don’t realize that there is a difference between living and existing because they are in a constant state of survival in which by definition is overcoming danger and/or hardship. 

I, like so many others, have not been taught how to live. I have realized that through my upbringing I have only been taught to survive.

As I looked inward at my own hardships and heartbreaks, I began to question myself, asking “How did I get here and how can I fix this?” “Why do I feel alone?”

I have realized the simple fact of the matter is I didn’t know any better. I was not taught any better because I have come from a lineage of caregivers who just didn’t know any better. 

Same as many others. I was taught when you have children you have to take care of them. To one who has limited life training the automatic assumption is, I need a job. Which is logical thinking considering that we need financial resources in order to live. Once being engulfed by the many stresses of parenthood, many parents begin to forget that there are multiple factors that are involved in raising a happy, healthy, well rounded human being. 

I once was asked, How are you doing? My reply was, I’m just trying to survive. To be perfectly honest I was living in a constant state of fear. Fear of the unknown of my financial situation. Yes I was taught to have a good work ethic, but no one taught me the importance of balancing a checkbook. No one said, You should create a monthly ledger in order to ensure that your income is enough to cover your expenses. Another fear was knowing that I needed to make more time for parenting and feeling helpless due to my struggles of maintaining a household on a minimum wage income.

Now, take a moment to think of the children. Little ones who have no understanding of finances. Needing, in our underserved society, to have more attention, love, compassion, empathy, structure and guidance. Seeing their parents suffer in silence to make ends meet. Unable to understand why mother and father have to be gone so long. Waiting for their arrival after work. To be greeted by a parent that is overworked. Tired and worn, we prepare a meal and start preparing to go through the routine again tomorrow. 

As a child, I lived that very cycle. In my mind I wanted to do whatever I could to help. Even though I had no possible way of fixing the issue. I decided to take on the responsibility of helping.

Our children, having more knowledge than we could ever expect, see our unspoken pain and begin to take on stresses and unintentional responsibility. Leading to emotional distress.

Sometimes intentional responsibility falls, I grew up in a time when single parents relied upon older siblings to help tend to younger siblings. It was an unspoken expectation. Family systems relied upon each other and the community to be supportive of one another. Hence, the phrase “It takes a village to raise a child.” 

What happens when families are lacking resources? They depend upon the community. What happens when the community lacks resources? Who do we depend on then? Can we depend on local government officials to make sound decisions for the betterment of our communities?

This is where the importance of understanding our community system comes into play. We as citizens have the right to elect a representative of our community. One who understands the importance of the dynamics of the family structure and its effect on society, economic development and culture.

As a current citizen of Wake County, I have faced many challenges. Challenges we all faced especially, through our most recent global pandemic. Social and economic disparities are leaving us as a community in crisis. We as individuals have fallen into a disconnected state of being, leaving us unable to identify with our communities. We need community engagement. We need leaders, teachers and influencers who  are philanthropically motivated to engage with the people wholeheartedly. Without fear of the unknown and biased opinions or intentions. We need to collectively acknowledge that there has indeed been a disconnect and produce a strategic plan to get back to community service as a whole.  

- Latasha Milton -